In the future we'll all be gay
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
