I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
be right there i have to get my cape
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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