I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
