There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
