highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
