I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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