if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
