I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
