The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I won't apologize to a one balled man
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Randomize
