good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
