I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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