what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
