There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
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Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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