if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
