It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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