"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
