:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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