she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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