nutella sex= disaster
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
