Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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