I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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