at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
