I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
