I cockslap morals
I think I am morally bankrupt
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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