i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
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