I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize