garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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