Apparently you make a good broom.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
