Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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