After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
