i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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