The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
