Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
