i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
