HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
