he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
