you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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