she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
