Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
