We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize