Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
