Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
