You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
