i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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