i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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