in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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