After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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