My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
