So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
