I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
This is my life. Enjoy the view
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
