turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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