How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
