we're blogging at a bar
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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