i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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