Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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