Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
