My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
