I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
