Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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