i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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