So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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