Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
