She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
